19 January 2011

What defines you.

Recently I have gone through some work issues.  To be honest I have never really been happy in my job, in the past I have used excuses like “it’s the company” or “i am bored” or “it’s time to move on” but the truth is that I am unhappy in my job because it’s not something that I am passionate about.

Have you ever noticed that when you meet someone one of the first questions they ask of you is “What do you do?”  As a society we have come to use someone’s job title as part of forming an opinion of that person.  For someone like me that isn’t attached to my job title and put absolutely no value to it whatsoever it kinda sucks.  Picture this scenario – fancy cocktail party, are introduced to some affluent people, you are fitting in nicely and chatting away, the inevitable “what do you do” comes up, me “I’m in admin – yes I do admin”, affluent person trying to be polite “oh what company do you work for” explain, “oh that’s .... lovely” looks uncomfortable and suddenly has a craving for those caviar hors' d oeuvres.

*I* don’t define myself by the work I do and I suppose for me because I put no value on it I find it hard to understand why other people do.  But I suppose in a way job titles make us fit into a nice little box and give people clear guidelines about what kind of person you possibly could be and if they would like to be associated with you.  It's sad in a way because I'm sure people miss out on getting to know great people by boxing and labeling like that.

Maybe my thoughts on this will change if I ever get to do something I am passionate about but for now, yes I have a job and no my job does not define me.

07 January 2011

Interview

OK so I went for an interview today, I almost cancelled it (yes I know it's counter productive) but I soldiered on.  It was at an agency for a really nice position at a big corporate.  I feel better now that I went.  Will hear next week sometime about the interview with the actual group.  So lets see..

My friend Laura has another blog she also runs called Female2Female and after my very depressing woe is me post from yesterday suggested that I write a weekly article for the site which I have agreed to do.  You know what they say about idleness being the devils ear cushion and all that!  So I am excited to start with that and GYM yay!!  I think we will start gym next week sometime, I can't wait to get back into exercising again, I did zilch over the December holidays and I feel totally yuck!  I haven't touched my pole either *sobs* luckily that will be remedied tonight when my other friend Mrs Rautenbach comes over for a chat/pole session!

I feel better today thank you - I guess it helps being Friday and all LOL!

Have a good one peeps!

06 January 2011

Drifting

And I don't mean drifting like in those guys with their fast cars around corners.

I am in earnest looking for other employment this year and as much as I want to leave and feel utterly un-enthusiastic about my current work situation.  I feel the same when I browse through the loads of jobs on job sites.  I am really struggling to get excited and motivated about doing the same thing at another company.  I am just a little bit resentful that I can't also do something that I love.

It would be easy if I actually could find a compromise and find something that I love doing that isn't exactly what I want to be doing.  What I really want to do is not possible (don't have the capital), the other thing I want to do I need a Masters degree and study for 7 years so that is also not going to happen.  And the other other thing I want to do I also need to study for about 2 years which is also not going to happen, so I have to be happy (as always) with 2nd best and be stuck with doing meaningless admin jobs the same thing day in and day out  yay for me.

I really feel like I'm just drifting around, like there is no meaning to what I do, every day is the same, treading water and never getting anywhere.  And apparently I'm not as nice as I thought I was I apparently project a little bit of a not nice attitude - who knew!  I'm feeling a bit sad about this today I will just have to accept that this is it, and be happy with never quite getting what I want and being happy with below average.

Soldier on!