14 February 2011

Fighting

I recently discovered that the company I work short paid me on my commission and now owes me a rather tidy sum of money.  When I found out I deliberated for a couple of days to make the decision if I should claim it or leave it.  At the end of the day I decided to claim for it, it is rightfully due to me and there should be no dispute as it states in my contract of employment that a certain amount will be paid out to me and it wasn't.

Of course being the human being that he is, the owner of the company is refusing to pay out the owed amount to me and of course the GM's loyalties lie with him and not with me (or his staff) so together they are now concocting all sorts of tall tales including that "the contract is wrong, it doesn't mean anything and we 'meant' something else" LOL, I kid you not.  I spoke to the CCMA and unfortunately because it's commission they can't help me with it and if he doesn't willingly pay my only course of action is to take him to court as it's a civil case.  So it's been a tumultuous couple of days.  I have since made my peace that I will not be paid, although I still feel that I have a strong case, I can prove everything that I am claiming by hard facts.  I am not one for burning bridges but I have also never been treated this way in my working history.

I feel positively yuck from all this negative energy.    I do not understand how some people live this way and take their enjoyment in harming others emotionally and constantly fights AND is perfectly ok with it.  The whole situation really made me feel awful energetically.  I think I'm going to have to clear my chakras tonight and do a cleansing ritual.

Even though I know that there are people who are unethical and dishonest and just plain mean and nasty I am always caught a little off guard and it upsets me when I encounter them.  Luckily it isn't a lot and thankfully I have been blessed to remove myself from my current situation as soon as I made the decision to go.  Only 14 more sleeps then I don't have to be in this environment anymore.

07 February 2011

On my own

As much as I enjoy time on my own and to have a bit of space.  Every time my husband leaves on conference (aka paid for holiday/boozy trip) I feel slightly terrified for a few moments.  It is quite evident who makes the biggest mess when he isn't there.  So I am perfectly able to cope and deal with the kids/housework etc on my own so that really isn't a problem for me.    It's always nice to have that extra set of hands but I can do it on my own.  What momentarily terrifies me is being outnumbered.  If I am on my own they outnumber me.  It's 2 against 1!  It is for that reason why I have decided against having a 3rd child, so unless we are suddenly going to be into polyamory there will be no 3 to 2 kid to adult ratio in our house.  Luckily for me that terrifying moment passes quickly and my kids really are ANGELS when we are alone.

They listen, do their chores and just fall in line like good little soldiers.  I don't know why this is but they are always exceptionally good when it's just the 3 of us.  Christian has his moments where he will throw a wobbly but I don't entertain that so he quickly realizes that in order to get my attention he needs to calm the heck down.  The only downside is that I won't be able to go to gym until hubby is back from his holiday err conference.  But thankfully I can spend some time on the pole to keep my muscles in use!!

The dogs however did NOT get the same memo as the kids.  They are impossible.  This morning I was greeted with dog poop and pee in the kitchen, lounge and sun room.  So I spent 30 minutes cleaning up doggie doo and pee while holding a scarf across the lower half of my face to try and block the smell and trying not to hurl (unsuccessful) it was not fun.  I have no idea why the excess crap seriously I even let them out before I went to bed to prevent the poop in the house.  I think they did it on purpose just to annoy me because they KNOW how much I despise it (the dog poop/pee is normally the husbands business so to speak). I am seriously considering letting them sleep outside.  I CAN NOT deal with another start to the morning like this one, otherwise they might tragically go missing.  *sigh* Even with a 2 : 2 adult to kid ratio I'm still outnumbered 3 : 1 about the dogs....

04 February 2011

Fuzzy bunnies and rainbows

You know what?  Some days I want my head in the clouds and think fuzzy bunnies, unicorn poop, pink cupcakes and rainbows.  I've been having a happy month.  I feel great, happy, content and like I'm moving forward.  I'm exercising and already seeing great results and am well on my way to a washboard stomach!  So as much as sometimes in the past I have allowed myself to vent and work through things.  For now I'm going to allow myself to be happy and to dwell in this space.  I refuse to get caught up in silly dramas and issues and dwell on the negative (and read news sites LOL).  I have decided that I will only allow myself 10 minutes to be upset and vent over things.

I have also learnt that as much as we sometimes want to make ourselves heard and let our opinions be known and feel validated, sometimes we need to just STFU.  It's not important to always let yourself be heard for me at this point in my life.  And for me it's a big thing as in the past I have been someone who needed validation.  I went through a period of really struggling emotionally and I have been holding on to the knowing that "this too shall pass" and well what do you know it's passed.  I'm sure the wheel will eventually turn again.  Such is the nature of life.  We all go through cycles and I feel relieved and very happy that I am on the up end of the cycle again!

So I refuse to waste it!