31 March 2011

Denial is a river in Egypt..

Look I know I said I would make more of an effort to put in some blogging time.  But I'm in my shell at the moment, it's safe and comfortable there.  I have so many things I want to say, but, I just don't want to.  I like to sometimes keep my things to myself and just stew and mull over them and sort them out in my head.

I feel in a really good space though, I'm coping and I'm not a sobbing teary mess.  Last night I went to therapy, it helps right.  The therapist thinks I'm in denial.  I brought it up though so I started it.  I'm slightly disappointed in this as I like to think that I don't run away from issues and that I am brave enough to confront head on and sort it out.  I'm over "bury the pain and deal with it later" maybe not...any-the-hoo

Me and Denial will just sit quietly here in my corner where we can keep an eye on each other and everything and everyone and will be in discussions in how we will go about feeling fine without needing him (I feel that Denial is a him - how else?).

My therapist is lovely though and we are on the same wavelength so I am sure we will sort something out.  The road to healing and acceptance is sometimes a rocky road but boy do you come out fit and ready to face anything on the other side!

30 March 2011

Leap!

When you have come to the edge of all the light you know and are about to step off into the darkness of the unknown, Faith is knowing that one of two things will happen:  There will be something solid to stand on or you will be taught how to fly.~ Patrick Overte

That is where I am standing right now, on the edge of the precipice, ready to take a blind leap of faith, but deep within me I know that I will learn to fly.  I will be ok and there is a bright sunny future ahead. I am not ready to openly blog about what is happening yet, but I am keeping a journal and I might write about it at a later stage when the dust have settled.  

It's a time of intense growing, learning and change.  But it's hard even though I am in a good space at the moment.  But I have so many amazing people supporting me, it's just awesome!

At my new job things are going really well.  The people I work with is great!  I love my new job and it's good to be in a space where my ideas are being used and my input is valued.  I actually enjoy coming to work now LOL!  

So there, a small update, I haven't blogged in a loooong time and I will really make more of an effort to, I actually do miss it.  At least I journal but I miss updating my blog and connecting with the world out there.