06 May 2011

Forward and onward!

Why is it that when people ask me "How are you?" and I tell them, they look at me like I'm crazy?  I am fine, I am really fine honestly and no I'm not in denial (my therapist says so ok).  It's like people expect me to be a sobbing mess and all broken and struggling.  Why is it that people kind of tip-toe around the subject of marriage/divorce?  Yes I know I am getting divorced, yes I know my marriage broke up.  But I also know how unhealthy that marriage was for both of us.  I also know how much better I'm functioning in all areas of my life not being in that marriage.  And I also believe that two happy people apart are far better than two miserable people together - for everyone.  Surely that's a good thing?

Who gets to decide how long I should be in mourning about this?  I mourned, I said my goodbye's.  It's done, and now I am looking forward and moving on.  I don't see the point in hanging on to fear/anger/grief.  I don't see the point of hating the ex.  I don't want that for myself.  I choose to be happy, I choose to move forward and find the good things that has come out of this.  I choose NOT to focus on the bad things.

I can't see the point in living in "what-if" and "shoulda, coulda, would've" land.  I can't change the past, I can only learn from it and try to not make the same mistakes again and move forward.  I can look at myself as an individual and work on changing the things within me that needs changing.  And that is exactly what I'm doing.


  1. so so true, 2 happy people is much better than 2 miserable people!

    have a lekker weekend.

  2. Sorry to hear about the split - but truly the kids will also be happier with happier parents.